Disadvantages

UPDATE 9/2/05
This article was written before it was realized just how bad the refugee situation would become. It wasn't meant to mock, or make light of the subject. If it makes you feel better, I've donated $100 (2 years of ad revenue) towards the relief effort. Seeing how the Red Cross pocketed that $1 billion after 9/11, I chose a different charity that I also used for the tsunami relief. Direct Relief Intl. is a non-profit, non-religious, non-political charity. They have an assload of credentials, you can specify a specific cause for the money to go directly to (ie hurricane katrina), and less than 3% of donations go towards administration cost. I'd encourage you to donate if you haven't.
thanks,
the administration

Posted by maddh at 10:15 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

Perry Bible Fellowship

During my extensive investigation of Square Lake (60 seconds on google) I came across another comic that was kinda in the same vein of sardonic humor, but in a different direction. The Perry Bible Fellowship, written and illustrated by Nicholas Gurewitch, is a collection of dark and twisted humor wrapped in cotton candy. Give it a read, both the writing and the illustrations are top-notch.

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Floppy disc CD case

Do you have stacks and stacks of old 5.25" floppy discs lying around? If you're willing to part with your 1990 archive of alt.bin.scifierotica newsgroup posts (were you gonna hand them down to your children?), you can turn those old disks into cool retro CD cases. Just slice down one of the edges, gut the ferro-magnetic goodness inside, and insert CD. Then impress anyone born before 1980.

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WTF Japan: Making handmade CD players in school

A group of 4th graders in Japan who attended Sony's ExploraScience event were able to create working homemade (and hand cranked) CD players as they learn about basics of its digital signal technology. They were provided simple optical sensors to read paper cutouts that had different notes encoded in face-melting 3-bit audio (enough for 8 notes). <rant> This is what's wrong with America. Over there they are teaching kids how to understand technology and science, but over here we are replacing biology books with bibles. In 20 years Japan will be in its protective orbital hover-dome looking down on us as we Americans sacrifice virgins to please the sun, ensuring it will rise the next day. </rant> I guess we shall always look to Japan for a glimpse of the future (actually it's already wednesday there).

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August 29, 2005

Space Lab Van

This one's totally dorking out material, but I'll just let the quotes do the talking:

Here are photos of my uncle's van, in which he installed a couple Skylab simulator panels as well as a computer and other strangeness to complete the look of a space-van-craft circa 1975.

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Square Lake is the bees knees

Square Lake was a comic written and illustrated by Dan Acton that ran in the one of the University of Illinois student papers a few years back. The paper's website recently deleted the archive, but fortunately it was saved by the kbps blog. I had a couple classes with this guy, top-shelf fellow. The comic has some seriously dark humour. It's sort of like a 1930's Bazooka Joe gum wrapper comic that was regularly beaten as a child and forced to wear a skirt to school. Check out the archive.

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Dignity, thy name is Atari Buckle

Yeah that's right, they went there. From the makers of the NES Buckle, comes the Atari Buckle. It's basically an Atari 2600 controller on a belt, and thats it. Wear this baby on a crowded subway and show women your smooth 2.5inch nub. Also be prepared to answer "Why does your belt buckle look like a penis?" like every 10 minutes. Atari 2600 Joystick Belt: $65, Stormtrooper Helmet: $75, knocking over the espresso of the only girl who would talk to you with with your black plastic belt-on phallis: priceless.

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August 26, 2005

Colonel Sanders is rolling in his grave

Is it because gas has hit $3.09 here? possibly.. But it's also because a scientist has developed a way to make chicken entirely white meat. It's not as advanced as it sounds, but the process shreds dark meat into a liquid which is then put into a centrifuge. The centrifuge separates the mush into layers of water, fat, and extracted meat essence. The extracted part can then be pumped into molds to become tofu-like "white meat" (in that its no longer dark in color). People say it tastes bland and unappetizing, but what did you think, it was gonna taste better after all that?

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NES Duck Hunt Sniper Rifle

This is a great home made mod (with DIY instructions) on transforming the old NES light gun into a bad ass Sniper Rifle. Finally, my two favorite hobbies combined. Based off a converted air-soft rifle, this guy used a little electronics knowhow to keep everything functional including the trigger. One shot, one kill will be your creed as you pick off ducks and clay pigeons from distances of up to 6 feet (the controller cord is still the original length). It may not improve your game but that damn dog will think twice about laughing when you miss.

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1930 Catalog of Fraternal Haberdashery

Whether you belong to the Masons, Anti-Masons, Skull and Bones, The Illuminati, NO MA'AM, or the Knights of the One True and Excruciated Flying Spaghetti Monster, your secret society needs amusing and humiliating products for initiations, punishments, and entertainment. (You don't think they spend the entire day controlling world politics do you?) Check out the De Moulin Bros & Co. "Burlesque and Side Degree Specialties, Paraphernalia and Costumes" published in 1930. This isn't some college frat "oil check & atomic sit-up" hazing, these are some serious prank/torture devices, guaranteed to create loyalty to your organization. Some items of interest are: Six types of goats, The No-Man's Land, The Striking Maul and Greased Pole, Jewish and Swiss Naval Battle, Big Busy Bertha, and Pillow Fight.

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Playboy joins the Interweb Super-Info-Highway

Playboy is planning to release a digital web version of their magazine to deliver you even more ads while you're reading in-depth articles about politics in Iraq and catching swordfish in the Caribbean, oh yeah and the 8 out of 120 pages that actually contain nudity. So Hef's big new idea is to offer pornography over the internet huh? Way to stay on top of the trends. Should I send him a Hootie and the Blowfish CD and some parachute pants (burgundy silk of course). Maybe I could tell him how the OJ Simpson trial ends?

Posted by maddh at 09:07 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 25, 2005

End of the World Photoshopped

Oh no, it’s the end of the world! They must have finally legalized same-sex marriages, right? Not really, photoshopping competition site Worth1000.com's completed contest of the day is Mass Destruction. There are 25 entries depicting the end of the world and in true Hollywood fashion, its the recognizable cultural landmarks that are the first to be destroyed. (That poor Empire State Building has been blown up so many different times over the years) On the topic of destroying the earth, check out Geocide on no less than 11 realistic ways that the earth can be obliterated including the physics, timeline, resources, and odds of success for each way. A must for aspiring mad-scientists.

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The Sims present R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet"

For those of you not familiar with "Trapped in the Closet", it's R-Kelly's latest opus where he does the same song 5 different times and sing-describes every minute action of a love triangle drama. For those you not familiar with Machinima, it's a form of media using 3D videogame engines to create and direct scripted movies. Where these two converge is Kendra Flemons's recreations of all 5 chapters of Trapped in the Closet using the Sims engine. Do to some limitations though, there are no guns, sex is replaced with hugging, and bad acting is replaced with great 3D animations.

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Intelligent Design Illustrated

For those of you worried by our secular-leftist liberal-atheist terrorist-femocratic education system teaching the so called "scientific theory" to our impressionable youth, don't worry. The true American patriots are working hard to get more of the one true vengeful God into your children's science classes. If you've noticed the huge gaping cavernous holes in the logic of the Intelligent Design Theory, the angels at Don't Drink The Koolaid have a nice illustrated breakdown with explainations to clear up these contradictions for us so we can go back to our monster truck rallies and disapproving of Will and Grace.

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August 24, 2005

Top 10: Black Metal Promo Shots

Remember that chunky kid in your highschool named Steve? He'd occationally shave off his eyebrows, tried to grow a faustian goatee 5 or 6 chin-hairs at a time, and only started wearing a black trenchcoat AFTER Columbine. Well he's in a black-metal band now, and black-metal bands need promotional photos to let you know how down with satan they are. Compiled here in this most dark tome, written in blood, bound in human skin, is the Top 10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pics of All Time. I feel better about myself already.

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This issue of Duh Magazine: Movies Suck Now

King Snarky of Sarcastalot, Defamer, has a post about a NYTimes article (use BugMeNot to avoid registering) about how Hollywood execs are admitting that the reason for supposed "low earnings" may be because of their product, and possibly not their previous reasons of file sharing and terrorism. "Audiences have gotten smart to the marketing, and they can smell the good ones from the bad ones at a distance." Well there is that, but lets not forget: ever rising ticket prices, the price of theater snacks, the 30 minutes of commercials before the previews, the commercials that trick you to thinking its a preview, the movies that are actually 30% commercials and product placement, the 1/4th of seats in a theater that are at an unviewable angle that you have to sit in cause you didn't come 1 hour early, the $8 parking, the people who bring babies, the people who translate dialog in realtime to non-english relatives, and the re-makes, sweet jesus the re-makes. Can someone remind me again why I'm not pouring my money into this industry?

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Google Talk: A Constructive Criticism

Google Talk beta is Google's foray into the instant messenger world. Using a Jabber server of their own, they are attempting to popularize an open standard that hopefully the other clients (AOL, MSN, YAHOO) will one day follow, allowing the same interoperability that email enjoys. Although officially announced Wednesday, late Tuesday I found a link to the Google Talk download page a day early and decided to take the Google Talk beta for a spin to see what it's all about. I was able to get 2 other friends already on GMail to chat with me over the new client to see it in action. While I found a lot of things I liked, there were still many problems I see that might prevent this client from taking off at this point.

What I Liked
In true Google style, Keep It Simple Stupid is in effect. The client is incredibly lightweight (900KB install) and the GUI is very unobtrusive. The windows have little or no border, and nothing is there that doesn't need to be there such as ads, stock tickers, etc. The client is extremely lacking in options, although this might be a good thing to most people. Right clicking anything reveals few if any available actions. The preference screen has only the basics, but most options that I usually set on other clients are the default here. Not playing a notification sound while the window is visible is one of those features you think would have been the default for years. I still want to strangle people who can sit in front of the AIM client talking to one person with the conversation window maximized, and still need to hear the chime sounds for both sending and receiving IMs. These are usually the same people who still have their desktops set to 800x600 (once saw 640x480) even on a 19" LCD. That’s another story though.
Multiple conversations are stacked together and can roll up to be hidden if the need arises. The main buddy list window can be minimized to the system tray if you don't like it taking up room on the screen or taskbar. The client also acts as a GMail notifier so you don't need to have both that and the standalone GMail notifier. In conversations the “screenname:” stamp doesn't repeat itself if you've sent multiple IMs without alternating to the other person first. This makes sense but still throws me off a little. The away/available status is easy to flip and easy customize with no dialog windows and confirmations to click. Also there is a quick filter/search box for whenever you eventually get so many buddies that you may have trouble finding them by scrolling. Like everything else this is quick and intuitive.
The voice chat feature could not be easier. Even behind our NAT routers and firewalls, there was nothing to configure for either myself or my friend. The sound quality was crystal clear. There's not much to it, you talk, you listen, it works.

What I Didn't Like
I know Google was trying to keep everything simple as can be, but I would have liked to see basic file transfer, or inline images. Even if you don't agree on inline images, it’s the 14yr old girls that make or break an IM client, not computer purists or snobs. And the 14yr old girls want to share pictures on screen without any hassle. But this is a beta, so like the many important features of GMail that were added in later versions, we can expect Google to listen to its users on adding new features.
Another thing I see as an issue towards mass adoption is the close meshing of the service with one's GMail account. In order for someone to try out Google Talk, they must first sign up for a GMail account (if they haven't already). GMail is still in Beta, and if I've heard correctly still requires new users to be invited in by old users (correct me if I'm wrong). While GMail invites are cheaper than Soviet currency, it's still an extra step (or 3) to new users.
Also, your GMail becomes your screen name for anyone wanting to contact you. This has its advantages and disadvantages. It will make it easy for friends of mine to find me quickly. However, I don't always want everyone who knows my Email (which could be any number of harvesters or spam operations) to be able to IM me. In the blog game, one will often post their screen name for strangers to contact them about whatever, which is fine except that I'd have to post my personal email account on the web, which is something the web-savvy know not to do. My only option would be to have 2 Google Talk clients open (is that possible?) with different GMail accounts, one personal and one public. Perhaps Google could add a multiple account feature or allow non-email screennames or ID# to allow more anonymity? The Jabber protocol this client is based off treats your screenname kind of like an email address. For example it would see you as Someone@gmail.com, whereas 'Someone' can be anything you wanted, for the sake of simplicity Google makes 'Someone' your gmail account name. I think with a little tinkering on their end they could make user defined screennames (more than just the Alias field) that lets us talk without giving out our personal email at the same time.
My last gripe is the interoperability issue. Yes I can access the talk.google.com service from GAIM or any other multiple-service client. But what’s the point? Everyone I'd ever know on Google Talk would already have an AIM, Yahoo, or MSN account already linked to me in the first place. It's the interface that I like about Google Talk and if anything, I should be able to use my AIM account through Google Talk's client. Call me picky, but I don't like having multiple running clients open on one desktop. If Google Talk could cover all the other services, it would allow us to slowly wean ourselves off the other services to strictly Google (like my slow move from Hotmail to GMail) once its popularity has taken off and the program leaves beta, which is not for a while if its anything like Google's other services (Gmail, News, Maps etc).
I know some of these features would be against the main point of Google Talk and keeping it simple, perhaps there should be a Pro version along side that lets the veterans get what they want, without confusing the novices.

Conclusion
Over all, I think they are on to something and I applaud them for taking a shot at leading the way to a free and open standard for a medium that is illogically fragmented. The interface is great and I hope its shortcomings will be addressed in later versions.

Pros

Cons

Suggestions

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August 23, 2005

3D tactile feedback using air

Dorkingout field correspondent Torquil has submitted this link for perusal. The scienticians at the NTT Cyber Communications Laboratory Group in Japan have created an unteathered 3D force feedback device using grids of tiny individually controlled air holes in the surface of the table. It simulates the height or contact of a 3D object by adjusting the air pressure towards a pointing wand with an air scoop at the end. Before you ask, yes this may be used in the distant future to have cyber sex with your computer. However in the meantime I expect a few of the "Do It Yourself" inventor crowd to get caught by their mothers humping the airhockey table. "Its a prototype!"

Posted by maddh at 03:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Galerie du Robocop

An anonymous artist named Egg has made a bunch of Robocop themed works using a flash based art program Artpad. His masterpieces have been collected in The Museum of Modern Robocop Art. Fantastic stuff except that there isn't any ED-209 action. Remember when Robocop killed the dad from That 70's Show?
Real quickly, some quotes:
RoboCop: Dead or alive, you're coming with me!
ED-209: Please put down your weapon. You have 20 seconds to comply.
Clarence: Bitches leave!
Bixby Snyder: I'd buy that for a dollar!

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Cool a Guinness to 2°C with a jet engine

This article isn't new but Hackaday dug it up and it fits in with my interests. This guy in New Zealand wants to cool down his Guinness (you must capitalize it) as fast as possible and possibly die while doing it. The theory is that when a compressed gas expands from liquid to gas it draws a lot of heat energy out with it, cooling down the surroundings. He plans to release an entire tank of propane in a few short minutes, but instead of just dangerously releasing the gas into his garage, he's dangerously burning it off with a jet engine made out of a car's turbo turbine. Me? I would have just used a refrigerator, but no one would want to read about that.

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ENGADGET  198...... NO CARRIER

If you're old enought to remember Upload/Download ratios, ASCII art, and callback verifiers, you'll love Engadget's little Engadget 1985 special. (If you have no idea what those are Learn some history! (and stay in school (and say no to drugs))). Done in the style of the BBS systems of old, it has monospaced type, 16 color images, suitcase sized cellphones, floppy disk drives, it's perfect! Can you remember the excitement of your favorite bbs getting a second line with a 19.2Kb modem? Pirating the non-shareware version of Wolfenstein3D? Boot disks? Ascii pr0n? Those were the days.

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August 22, 2005

$19.95 for +6 Stupidity

Geek on Stun holds a mirror to the oily face of geekdom. They definately turn the Snarky to 11 for their semi-daily posts, today's as thought provoking as ever. Whats up with the face plates, and do manufacturers (i'm looking at you microsoft) really expect us to pay an extra $60-$100 getting several new faceplates to match our personality(ies). Today I feel like my xbox should have [flames/matrix code/master chief's head/dave matthew's band].
I expect the $20 Xbox 360 faceplates to appeal to the same people who have a "Calvin pissing on a chevy" logo on the back of their Ford, and/or have a barbwire tattoo around their bicep. (you know, cause its dangerous) It expresses to the world who they are, retarded.

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Blinded by science!

Something Awful has a little piece about really bad sci-fi/fantasy books and the covers that adorn them. Star fleet head librarian finds magical amulet, baby, and an invisible cat? check. Jaba the Hutt's bearded cousin and his twink bodyguard want to put Han in carbonite? check. Vampire Highschool haunted by ghosts? double check. Literature so bad its good, but also cycles back to bad again. Note to self-hating-nerds: these books can not even be read for ironic value, so go read some Douglas Adams ya slags!

Posted by maddh at 02:13 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Nov 13th: Intl. Database Poisoning Day

If you've ever heard of Bugmenot, its a service that provides fake logins for those "free registration to view" news sites that try to collect your information just to read the latest on troops dying or Britney Spears's baby. You can donate by creating fake login/pass(s) and submitting them to bugmetnot for everyone to use (a firefox plugin makes grabbing the logins easy). Their service is a protest to the practice of collecting and selling user information for neferious purposes. They are asking you to register at least one fake profile (ie poison a database) on 1 or more of the top news sites: www.nytimes.com, www.washingtonpost.com, www.latimes.com, www.ajc.com, www.chicagotribune.com, www.dallasnews.com, www.nypost.com, www.baltimoresun.com, www.philly.com, www.mercurynews.com on November 13th. The more useless demographics they have the less their data is worth, Screw advertisers! Cept mine to the right ----->

Posted by maddh at 09:18 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Quake 3 Source Released, Dorking Out contest announced

Programmers rejoice, for Id, in all their de-crowned glory, has bestowed upon us the source code for Quake3 engine. In a tradition of releasing last generation's 3d engine, opening the source allows bedroom programers to view the nuts and bolts of what makes a classic FPS. Also to one day port it to their calculators. This brings us to our first Dorkingout.com reader contest: 1000 shillings to make a Q3 mod with the theme as: People who want to teach Intelligent Design in schools vs. the Smart People. Int-Des players don't have to obey gravity (they don't believe in gravity) but they can't use weapons based on science (rocket launcher, railgun, etc.) while the Smart People can. Extra points for featuring the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Posted by maddh at 08:36 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 19, 2005

Like a magic wand, for Pr0n

From the uberhackers at i-hacked.com, you can use a $12 universal remote from radio shack to +o+a11y h4x0r the PayPerView system in hotels and get programming for free. (I suggest March of the Penguins) The directions seem pretty simple enough, now if it could only open the snack bar and activate the vibrating bed.

Posted by maddh at 02:21 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Circle of Death Simulator

What is our current terror alert level, yellow? So something could happen anywhere, anytime, or maybe not. Won't someone please think of the children?! We'll someone did, the High Yield Detonation Effects Simulator (or HYDESim) will tell you (based on your location and size of the nuclear weapon) whether your children will be vaporized, serverely burned, or just slowly dying from fallout. It uses the google maps API and is pretty handy. You could actually use it to chart anything that propagates in a cirle like gossip, universal brotherhood, or ebola. Note: does not apply to things that are "sweeping the nation" since that would be a left-to-right horizontal gradient.

Posted by maddh at 12:41 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

I 'n' I, Jah Pastafari

Shut down the internet, because it has finally peaked, it's all downhill from here. This is the greatest thing ever. Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the parody religion (as believable as any) created as an alternate explanation to evolution in response to the Kansas Board of Education voting to allow "Intellegent Design" to be taught instead of evolution in public schools. (hope they don't plan on going to any accredited univeristy) Basically, the pilars of the religion are that
The Universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster
All evidence pointing towards evolution was put in place by His Noodly Appendage
Global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct consequence of the decline in numbers of pirates since the 1800s.

The benefits of this religion are
Like the great noodles they worship, Flying Spaghetti Monsterists have flimsy moral standards
Religious holiday every Friday
Promise of a stripper factory and a beer volcano in Heaven.

Sign me up it deserves just as much discussion in science class as intelligent design does.

Posted by maddh at 08:56 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

3-card Azgalor Holdem': night-elves are wild

Two nerdy trains are about to collide in a spectacularly geeky explosion. Train 1 is the kids at who spent the lunch period playing Magick the Gathering card games (I know this is a safe place for nerds, but those kids were lame). Train 2 is the spare-time-having rabid maniacs of World of Warcraft. When the debris and sinew has settled, what is left will be The World of Warcraft: The Trading Card Game. This is uncharted territory of geekdom. It's so lame it might tear the fabric of time and space.

Posted by maddh at 07:39 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 18, 2005

Han Shot First

It's Starwars mania today. I like this one though. There is sort of a campaign against Lucas having pussified the Han v. Greedo cantina scene (among many of his cinematic vandalisms) in the most recent re-re-re-re-re-release of the original trilogy. Instead of the scene you and I grew up knowing where Han shoots Greedo before Greedo can shoot him, the scene was heavily altered to make it look like Greedo shot first (who misses a target 2 feet away from you?) which makes Han look like the victim, thusly justified in shooting Greedo. I've always said the library of congress should have confiscated the originals a long time ago for their protection. And someone (i don't care who) should have gotten punished for the whole Jar Jar thing.

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omg chng me lolz! (^_^)

Are you sitting down? Prepare to have your mind blown. Fujitsu has developed a light bulb that will send a SMS txt msg through the internet (what no tiny phone inside?) alerting you when it's burnt out. I shit you not. Have we already approached the technological singularity where this is what counts as progress? You know how I know when a bulb has burnt out? When I flip the switch and the room is still dark. No need to tie up the internet with useless information as people might not be able to get through to the important stuff.

Posted by maddh at 09:12 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Hey me too!

When I originally read about this a few hours ago, I didn't think it was thaaaat great, but now its on like every tech/humor site, and I'll be damned if I'm the only blog on the planet not to have this starwars related post. So here you go, Vader has a Posse, and Kit Fisto has Meat Dread Locks. Apparently the Vader/Posse sticker was done by an actual LucasArts employee. cool?
sidenote: Vader is listed as 6'8" but Hayden Christensen is listed as 6'1", does that mean Vader has 7 inch platform shoes?

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Vasquez gets those big black boots on

On the topic of Aliens from the last post, here is a really catchy ode to the lesbisuperiority of Space Marine Pvt. Vasquez. Her cropped hair, her bandana, the black boots, and the shoulder mounted chain gun. She only needs to know 1 thing: Where they are. Is it love? No she'd only break my heart in the end, or blow us both up with a grenade. You'll be humming this tune all day.

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August 17, 2005

Alien Lvs. Predator

Tired of having to write all your own Alien vs. Predator fan fiction? (Yes we all know what you would do with invisibility armor) Let these guys do it for you, and while not in the same vein as the Alien or Predator movies, its pure bliss compared to the "burning diaper filled with indian food" that was Alien vs. Predator (I refuse to call it AVP) Anyways in Alien Loves Predator they live together in some sort of weird lifemate situation, and experience New York as only 2 co-habitating predatory aliens of different species can. The web comic has around 140 pages if you've got time to check the archive.

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What has two wheels and no shame?

I'm all for dorking out if it's what you're into, but I can not defend the Segway. For those who don't know what the Segway is, it provides customers with a way to spend $5000 to look like a tool. [unless you're this guy, who can make anything look cool] It also allows 1998 dot.com-bubble CEOs to easily get from the company's "Imagineering Dept." to the local Organic Espresso Co-op Cafe without mussing up their pleats and then to the New Age Healing Center to get a crystal to help align their ponytails with their chakras. These guys are making a documentary about crossing the country on Segway's at the rate of 10mph. Although we'd all like to try a Segway at least once just to see, it would ideally be on private property, at night, wearing a ski mask, and I wouldn't tell a soul. The original invention the balancing tech was based off might be pretty cool if I ever lose the use of my legs. And the next version is pretty bad ass too.

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Our dichotomy opens the combat, Let us counter-attacking

This isn't anything fresh, but I have a commitment to the masses to give at least one starwars or starwars-like post per day. This guy's blog rehashes another guy's blog (don't we all?) about a Chinese bootleg of Revenge of the Sith that had its Chinese audio translated back into English subtitles. Some of them are funny, but if you like getting lost in translation, here is a cool google hack Poetry in Translation that takes your sentence, translates it to german, then german to french, then french to german, then back to english with some interesting results.
"To be or not to be, that is the question." => "Its or, the question is that."

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TV email alerts

Patent Pending TV Eyes scans 500 channels of television in realtime, logging the closed caption content of every show. You can select keywords to have the TV Eyes email you alerts every time your keywords are mentioned on television with information on where and when it was mentioned. If your into space news use the keyword "NASA". If you like being the first to know about embarrassing celebrity deaths use "autoerotic self asphyxiation" as your keyword. Maybe you want to know every bit of news about Britney Spears's pregnancy, just type "I am retarded", then type it again, cause you are.

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August 16, 2005

Robotic weight-loss surgery

Surgeons from Stanford Uni's School of Medicine have used robotically controlled instruments to perform a successful stomach stapling surgery. The surgery was performed laparoscopically (through small holes and yes thats the correct spelling) and allowed his tons-of-fun abdomen to be supported cybermechanically instead of by the surgeons strength. If only this option can be added to the sex android advances discussed earlier, you can kill two birds with one sexy/dangerous stone.

Posted by maddh at 06:51 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

DIY Lawsuit, Eyebrow Removal

My personal hero of the day is this kid who built his own flamethrower out of plumbing and flame. Whether torching your way to the Alien Hive Queen, or clearing out a nazi bunker, this kid just earned some neighborhood respect. And after he gets arrested bringing this thing to school [hope they don't blame GTA again] here's a tip, learn the value of your ass in cigarettes, don't get low balled by your cell mate.

Posted by maddh at 06:36 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

WD-Pentium2

We could play Germany or Florida on this one, but as we all know, Florida doesn't have computers yet. So its Germany. This guy has submerged his computer in vegetable oil to keep it cool. The oil is not electrically conductive but it does absorb heat well so in a way its almost ideal. The drives and connectors sit outside the oil tank to take care of the obvious questions. I'd expect this out of UB3r-1337 overclockers trying to get the most out of their very expensive rigs, but this thing is a Celeron 550Mhz, you could almost run it without fans just how it is in the first place. It's kinda overkill for such an old computer, but maybe he misses the days of boot disks and HIMEM loaders. I mean come on, it couldn't even reliably play his anime porn or David Hasselhoff mp3s. Oh well, sometimes its better not to question the hobbies of Germans, just let them do their thing. Alles klar?

Posted by maddh at 05:51 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

One step closer!

Geeks rejoice, your ultrarealistic pleasure androids are one itsy bitsy step closer, as scientists in Japan (as if you thought anywhere else) have developed a flexible artificial skin that combines pressure and temperature sensors in some creepy looking skin. Eventually advances will require skin to be moisturized to maintain realism, in which case you can finally say "It rubs the lotion on itself, or it gets the hose!"

Posted by maddh at 12:43 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 15, 2005

Finally, a cocktail that's right for me....and you, and you, and you, and...

At last, this whole internet thing is starting to live up to the hype. Thanks to the mixilator, no longer will I have to sit through 1-on-0 drinking sessions suffering an onslaught of unimaginitive, impersonal cocktails. David Embury's drink generator will whip up a little something-something just for you depending on time of day, taste, strength, and other key preferences that only you and your bartender/therapist are privy too. Links to Cocktail DB for ingredient explanations (WTF is Sauterne?!?), and suitable substitutions (apparently, ordinary white wine will make a fine alternative to Sauterne) are helpful and almost necessary. Also, there are robots [/nerd quotient satisfied]. So now instead of pouring Busch Light onto cheerios for my AM fix, I can enjoy a tarty, aromatic "Handled Drummer". Wicked! Thank you AOTS.

Posted by Heir_Ick at 07:54 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Bible Games

MSNBC has an article on the growing movement of Christian video game developers. In reaction to an industry filled with violence and immoral themes, they feel games can be based more on doing good and increasing one's faith. That's a fantastic idea, lets make games that aren't good. Well, Christian Rock isn't good and it pulls in millions so maybe they got the right idea. What teachings from the Bible could they recreate? First-Person Lashing of J.C.? Abraham killing his son? Red Sea platform jumping? Killing the first-born time trials? Taking thy brother's wife after you stoned him to death?

Nope, nothing even that fun. here's a quote, and I sh1t Thee not.
“I play a lot of Christian video games,” Tolin said. “They don’t have fights. You just have to follow Jesus and pick up little crosses for points.”

Speechless... so at best, we'll have Katamari Jesus. I think playing that game for an hour would drive me to commit a violent crime.

Posted by maddh at 02:28 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Sometimes a glitch is just a glitch

Although I wouldn't call it Art per se, there is a certain nostalgic appreciation for what some call "Glitch Art" from The-inbetween. Remember back in the day when an NES game got too dirty (you didn't buy the $11 cartridge cleaner kit?!) and wouldn't load up correctly? Junk data would often show up on the screen as non-graphic data was interpreted as graphics. Modern day 3D game engines can also show their own form glitch art. (ever turn off clipping and try to walk off the screen?) Some were bland but some had some interesting colors and shapes and such. Its not talent, just mildy interesting.

Posted by maddh at 01:50 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Pee-powered battery smaller than a credit card

It's about time, because my old suitcase sized pee-powered battery was such a pain to lug around and fill. Plus I lost the lid so it was prone to spilling. Physicists in Singapore have developed a credit card sized power source able to deliver 1.5uW at 1.5V using .2ml of fresh urine as a catalyst. If only Howard Hughes could have known it was power he was collecting in jars, not just fetid urine. It is meant for one-off disposable items (home medical testing kits are one application) to deliver low power for several hours, so we're not yet to the point of peeing directly into the laptop (solving two problems at once for marathon coders/gamers). Get ready for the custom case badges "Powered By [Mountain Dew/Coffee/Budweiser/Unicorn Blood]".

Posted by maddh at 12:36 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

That's Mr. Chewbacca to you

More gold daintily swiped from Octopus Dropkick. Business cards from all your favorite starwars characters. Add a bit more realism to the creepy tea parties you have with your starwars cardboard cutouts in your basement you sweaty man-child.
Some more camomile Darth? Oh why thank you, its because I use real butter, not margarine.... MOM I told you not to come down here!"

Posted by maddh at 09:07 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

omg pls cll 911, cnt feel my lgs :'-(

Laws are changing in Oceania (or the UK), where getting caught txtng whl drvn can land you a hefty fine. It is pretty dangerous when you think about it, which I don't. So for those of you in England who steer with your knee while having an extended AIM mobile conversation about the American Beauty deleted scenes you're watching on your in-dash DVD player in between bites of your french dipped sandwich and sips of hot coffee which you hold between your legs without a lid on, be careful, that could now cost you £1000, or $1400 euros, or $20,000 US.

The Mirror UK [via Engadget]

Posted by maddh at 08:35 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 12, 2005

"Don't worry, this monkey is in perfect health"