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August 17, 2005

What has two wheels and no shame?

I'm all for dorking out if it's what you're into, but I can not defend the Segway. For those who don't know what the Segway is, it provides customers with a way to spend $5000 to look like a tool. [unless you're this guy, who can make anything look cool] It also allows 1998 dot.com-bubble CEOs to easily get from the company's "Imagineering Dept." to the local Organic Espresso Co-op Cafe without mussing up their pleats and then to the New Age Healing Center to get a crystal to help align their ponytails with their chakras. These guys are making a documentary about crossing the country on Segway's at the rate of 10mph. Although we'd all like to try a Segway at least once just to see, it would ideally be on private property, at night, wearing a ski mask, and I wouldn't tell a soul. The original invention the balancing tech was based off might be pretty cool if I ever lose the use of my legs. And the next version is pretty bad ass too.