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September 08, 2005

Steven Seagal's eXtreme Energy Action Power Drink

Former action-star and originator of the Chinese man-dress fashion, Steven Seagal, has formulated his very own energy drink, "Lightning Bolt". The drink includes an expertly blended formula of health supplements such as guarana, ginseng, and goji berries which aid in snapping necks and folding someone's elbow backwards without resorting to guns. The B-vitamins also help you deal with those evil [oil company CEOs/Corrupt Sheriff/Misguided Youth Gangs] who want to [start drilling for oil/Close the Youth Center/Use guns instead of Martial Arts] in your [insert small town/coastal community]. If anyone knows formulas, it's Steven Seagal. Available in Cherry Charge, Root Beer Rush, and Asian Experience[?].