Dorking Out

KFED leeching Britney's money, fame, Bandwidth

Thu, 29 Dec 2005 08:29:21 -0800

keywords: trifling
If you check out Kevin Federlines totally 2XtReme4U website http://www.kevinfederline.com/ and look into the source code, you can see that the flash intro really comes from http://www.britneyspears.com/kfed/intro.swf so that he wouldn't have to pay for the hosting. hah. don't forget to check out his myspace profile either http://www.myspace.com/kevinfederlineforreal cause its so 'fo real'.

Kev, my wigga, if you need some cheap hosting, try Dreamhost

UPDATE: I've been Defamer-ed!

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Queer Eye for the Dictator

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 13:45:35 -0800

keywords: style, dictatorship, moustacheIs it me, or has being deposed and incarcerated made Saddam one damn good-looking man? Do they have publicly appointed fashion consultants in war-criminal prison? Here are the 4 major improvements I've noticed starting from the top down.

No more red beret - Do I really have to explain? Show the world that beautifully thick head of hair now that the lice have been removed.

New Beard - I think it works quite well for him, much better than the sorta-gay caterpillar moustache he used to rock.

New Suit - The only person to wear epilets and cream isn't his color. His new suit is very modern and tasteful. And the no-tie thing says I'm modern and I don't recognize the authority of this mock trial!

Slimmer - A year or two in the joint never hurt anyone. My man Saddam has lost some major weight and looks much healthier overall. Its easy to skip working out when you are running a dictatorship, now he has no excuses.

The new Saddam really carries more of a sophisticated air about him. Instead of killing women and children you could imagine him at an upscale betting parlor discussing literature over an aged scotch. He's so L.A. I'm waiting to see him pull out his iPod.

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Updat3

Fri, 14 Oct 2005 11:29:51 -0800

keywords: laziness, depression, burning sensationSorry it's been a while since the last post, things have become kinda busy. Plus there just isn't much dork news lately. If this were a gadget site i could just post the 10 to 15 variously branded MP3 players, PDAs and Personal Media players that come out daily but that would be insulting to the readers. Unfornately if I can't make fun of it or say something negative, sarcastic, self depricating, or snarky, I can't post it. I'll pick up again starting next week.
l4t3rz

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Middle Earth 2005 Photoshop Contest

Tue, 04 Oct 2005 13:43:25 -0800

keywords: lotr, office, pure evilTPS reports! Smash! Worth1000.com's latest photoshopping contest (that's right Adobe, I used the term photoshopping incorrectly) is incorporating Lord of the Rings magic and imagery into modern day settings. On a related note, since Dick Cheney controls the world, is rarely visible, and survived like 14 heart attacks, my guess is that he possesses the One Ring.

Middle Earth 2005 [via Boing Boing]

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The Amazing Amalgam of Moustachioed Men

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 10:11:34 -0800

keywords: moustache ridesA right savage 'Tash guvnah! I tried growing my beard out for a month and gave up cause it just ended up making me look like I'm homeless/Kevin Federline. Apparently the secret is a tophat, a monocle, and a lot of wax. Last week the World Beard and Moustache Championships were held in Germany (duh). There are categories for both Solo and Teams in moustaches, goatees, and full beards each with a set of sub-styles. Natural, English, Handlebar, Imperial, or Freestyle, how about best-in-show?

World Beard and Moustache Championships [via Sploid]

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New Opiate of the Masses: Inter-Species Wookie Pr0n

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 12:39:52 -0800

keywords: wookie, star wars, pornSorry about the lack of updates. I have a real world job ($12 monthly ad revenue just doest cut it) that keeps me pretty busy. Also g0tz Id3nt1ty Theft3d! (0h n0es!) So that hasn't been fun. But it's still my responsibility to give the people what they want, Wookie-on-Pricess Star Wars Porn. This one is authentic, but a bit on the soft side. For the harder stuff check out this and this , then confess your sinful interests to PostSercret and pray that God doesn't have a monitoring proxy.

chewie loves leia [via Boing Boing]

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Homemade Sentry Gun

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 11:03:24 -0800

keywords: sentry, aliens, airsoftSomewhere out there a space marine just messed his pants. This guy built his own working sentry gun using a Airsoft replica[for now] FN P90 BB-gun, a webcam, servos, and an old computer. It detects motion in its field of view, directs you to "freeze" (a la ED-209) and if the target moves in the next 5 seconds it will continuously pelt them with airsoft BBs using both horizontal and vertical targeting. Don't forget to check out the video of his little brother getting pwned.

Sentry Gun [via hack-a-day]

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Coop's Atari Art Blog

Tue, 20 Sep 2005 14:37:04 -0800

keywords: coop, atari, paint
The modern day Michelangelo of all things sexy, evil, and slightly chunky, the artist known as Coop is blogging his latest work in progress, including this one with the atari controller. She's a bit thick and orange, but points for the video games right? right? Anyone remember Lords of Acid? mm hmm.

Coop's Blog [via Boing Boing]

CoopStuff view his archives

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Revolution Controller iz teh SuX0rz wtf?

Fri, 16 Sep 2005 11:01:09 -0800

keywords: nintendo, disappointment, despairI'm glad I'm not the only one who thought the Nintendo Revolution controller is s0 teh g4y!1!! Video gamers are not the most active people and the idea of holding ones hands at arms length in front of you for hours on end while swinging at stuff and keeping the left hand controller close enough for that 6 inch cable just doesn't sit well. Also there is going to be a flood of mundane life games to take advantage of this gimmick like virtually chopping food (from the promo clip). I could actually chop food for 1/1000th the price of the Revolution AND be able to eat the food when I'm done. And as for the controller skins to play the old Nintendo games, they did the impossible and made it even more uncomfortable than the original NES controller.
Enraged retro cartoon character/22-minute commercial, Captain N, puts it best:

“So I go from carrying a seven inch pistol [NES lightgun] to controlling fucking PowerPoint presentations? You know what? Fuck it. I’m just going to stuff a Virtual Boy in my underwear, start riding a Segway around town and just beg people to beat the shit out of me.”

Besides, it's not the G-Rated game system that should be developing the one-handed controller. [don't pretend you don't know what i'm talking about]

Captain N enraged with Nintendo Revolution controller [via Joystiq]

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A Night at the Cosplay Part II: Sakura Con

Fri, 16 Sep 2005 10:02:06 -0800

keywords: cosplay, anime, pricelessCosplay convention galleries are the flipped over SUV accidents of the internet. You just have to slow down to check it out when you pass. My theory is that the dorkier and more embarassing your hobby is, the more satisfying it has to be to you, otherwise you wouldn't risk money, health, or your chances of ever losing your virginity to do it. Capturing the moment of nerdgasm, these galleries show people at their most self-satisfied, finally able to express who they really are: ninjas, anthropomorphic animals, and schoolgirls.

Sakura Con

Dragon Con

"I've got something to tell you Dad" Best-of-Show

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Card Throwing: A Course in One Part.

Wed, 14 Sep 2005 13:59:03 -0800

keywords: cards, throwing, the hermannEver wanted to throw playing cards like your favorite cajun X-Man Gambit? First off, I won't tell anyone your totally gay for a comic book hero. Secondly, playing cards do not explode upon impact, at least not without modficiations. Thirdly, you need to decide which kind of grip you'll use to throw, the Hermann, the Scarlet Mustache, the Thurston Method, the Drunken Mermaid, or my favorite grip the Reverse Stranger.

Card Throwing How-To [knifethrowing.info]

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The Geek Hierarchy

Tue, 13 Sep 2005 13:16:58 -0800

keywords: geeks, self esteem, furriesThe Geek Hierarchy is a chart showing which geeks look down upon other geeks and their relations to all types of geeks. For example, video gamers look down on Role Playing Gamers, who look down on Live-Action Role Playing Gamers, who look down on 13yr olds, who look down on Furries, who look down on Erotic Furries. Or, SciFi Literature fans look down on SciFi TV fans, who look down on Trekkies, who look down on Trekkies that speak Klingon, who look down on Trekkies Who Get Married in Klingon Garb, who look down on Furries, who look down on Erotic Furries. It's all one big geeky pyramid, and the Erotic Furries are ALWAYS on the bottom.

The Geek Hierarchy

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l33t SCRABBLE T1LEZZ!!1!!1!one

Tue, 13 Sep 2005 08:22:53 -0800

keywords: leet, scr4bble, gr4nd|\/|4F you grandma! These are Scrabble tiles for my generation! Does your scrabble set lack enough zero tiles to spell out n00b? No @s to write Ph3@R my 5K1LLZ? You've spent years mastering l33t sp34k and pwning n00bs playing counter-strike, so you might as well carry things over to family game night. These Leet Tiles supply the proper Scrabble formated lexicon to be able to tell your sister she is s0 teh suX0rz! lolz

L33T TILES [via Boing Boing]

Wikipedia on Leet

Microsoft's Parent's Primer to Computer Slang lolz s0 teh L4me!

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Le Pillow

Mon, 12 Sep 2005 12:42:35 -0800

keywords: love, pillow, hateLe Figure is a humanesque pillow "designed for teenagers" so you know its eXtreem to da' maXX homedawg! Designed by the Swedish (of course), it is designed not only to be used as furniture.

It can be your friend to hug, talk to or dance with, as well as a laid back piece of furniture. The human like shape makes it an interesting graphic element, which gives it a strong presence in any environment. Change the face on Le Figure to make it personal and fit your desires. Print out your idol, loved one or enemy on a transfer film and attach it to the removable velcro face

Then fabricate a crude love hole, and then throw it out when you become too lazy to clean it after your abuse. (don't even pretend you wouldn't)

Le Figure [via we make money not art]

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The Return to Innocence: The Keytar V-1

Fri, 09 Sep 2005 14:51:10 -0800

keywords: keyboard, guitar, keytardedLo, and on the 2,191,825th day, the Keytar was created, and it was good.
-Book of Dork 3:16
Keytar Inc.'s William's Keyboard Guitar is, believe it or not, a guitar with a keyboard on it. Different from other keyboard guitars, it's a huge guitar with strings that uses an octave of piano keys to mute the strings into different notes. They are so sure of the Keytar's ultimate domination of live instruments that they have opened a 10,444-square-foot production facility in Arkansas churning out 200 keytars a day retailing for $999 each. Considering the hot demand for these that's a guaranteed $200,000/day ($73 million/year)!!11!1!!one

Music Thing: Look on my Keytar, ye mighty, and despair! [via Engadget]

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